


Lovers and (Just) Friends

by carolinagirl919



Category: Person of Interest (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Gen, Romance, Some Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-29
Updated: 2014-07-08
Packaged: 2018-01-17 11:06:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 22,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1385329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carolinagirl919/pseuds/carolinagirl919
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>The best way to keep your friends, is not to give them away. - Wilson Mizner</i>
</p>
<p>Looking at the three women in his life dressed up as bait to attract a stalker seemed like a good idea… at first…. “I think this might work,” he whispered to Finch. Only now he wished that it hadn’t worked so well.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was inspired from the “Lady Killer” episode (Season 3, Episode 3). I’ve had fun writing Jealous!Jawn and when I finally get bitten again by the writing bug for this, I should be able to close this out with one more chapter.

**_The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away.  
-Wilson Mizner_ **

Looking at the three women in his life dressed up as bait to attract a stalker seemed like a good idea─ _at first_. John had seen Shaw in dresses enough times during their work undercover, and he'd seen Zoe in a dress nearly every time he saw her… and she'd come out of her dress nearly every time he saw her as well. But he'd never seen Joss like this. She was always an attractive woman, but last night she was stunning. He tried not to stare at her in the form fitting dress she wore. "I think this might work," he whispered to Finch. Only now he wished that it hadn't worked so well.

" _Just once, I wish you fellas would call with something that didn't require a firearm."_

" _Why? Are you not carrying?"_

" _I know better than to show up unprepared."_

John had been on full alert last night when he thought she wasn't carrying. He felt his anxiety levels reaching unparalleled heights and he wasn't sure why. He knew Joss was a strong woman who was very capable of taking care of and defending herself, but there was a part of him that needed to protect her and make sure she was safe.

" _This is our chance, Detective Carter. Please say yes."_

" _Yes."_

He was outside the club last night, so he wasn't able to see Ian approach her. As he paced back and forth on the sidewalk across the street from the club's entrance, he could only listen to the open feed and hear him flirt with Joss and hear her flirt back. He knew she was simply doing her job, but her laughter sounded real. It sounded like she enjoyed his attention, and it annoyed him. He was sure that creep, that stalker ─ _Ian_ didn't seem to mind her attention either. In John's mind, this predator was leering at her as their conversation went on. He continued to pace to try to shake himself of this… this… _feeling_ he had. He knew what it was, but was in denial about what it could mean.

" _Heads up partner, our guy's watching you…. Now he's tailing you."_

After, Joss left the club, he and Fusco saw Ian tail her and start to follow her. With all his senses still on high alert, he went the opposite direction as Fusco followed Ian. His long strides were fast paced and he willed himself not to run, in order to meet Joss on her way and cut off any potential danger Ian could bring her way. He paced around the block and saw Joss walking up the street. She looked scared; truly scared. This wasn't Detective Carter speeding up her pace with fear in her eyes; it was Joss Carter the woman. He could see that Joss the woman was exposed, carrying or not. The "armor" of her police uniform or her traditional detective gear was missing so the swagger he usually saw was not in place that night.

" _He's still on your tail so don't go home, okay?_

" _Where am I supposed to go, Fusco?"_

John crossed the street to meet her as she crossed. Her pace was faster now and she turned her head to see if Ian was still following her, not paying attention to look ahead. Her guard was down. She ran right into him and was very startled. The look of relief on her face told him she was very happy to see that it was him.

He couldn't lose her. He wouldn't lose her. Their bond, while currently strained, meant so much to him. Probably more than he'd like to or would want to admit. This wouldn't be Jessica again. He wouldn't let anything get in the way of being there for her. He wouldn't be too late this time. She wouldn't be alone.

He wondered if she still knew that.

"Are you okay?" He couldn't take his eyes off her. She was there, she was safe, and she was with him.

"Yeah. I'm good. Where'd he go?" she asked, still looking over her shoulder.

"I saw the guy disappear up the street. It's safe to say that if he was looking for his next victim, he found her," Fusco said with concern. "I don't think it's safe for you to go home, Carter. I don't trust that guy."

Joss took a deep breath and stepped back, crossing her arms across her chest. "You said it yourself, he disappeared. I'll be fine."

John wasn't going to let that happen. "No, you're staying at the safe house tonight."

Joss looked at him with her arms still crossed but said nothing. She allowed him to drive her to the safe house, and was a woman of very little words for the rest of the night. Getting her to talk about anything was like pulling teeth.

Shaw came by the safe house this morning with a change of clothes for Joss and to relieve John of his duties as her bodyguard or, guard dog as she sardonically called him. He let her know that she wasn't needed and he asked her to meet up with Finch at the library for more intel. He would stay with Joss until her date tonight. Now they were at Lyric's Diner for breakfast and she hadn't said much to him.

For the first time in the push-pull story of their friendship, John was genuinely concerned. She was keeping something from him. She wouldn't open up. To an outsider, she seemed fine. After being demoted, she "kept calm and carried on", but he knew better. Something had changed. She was no longer the Joss Carter he once knew.

She was still distant. She sat across the table from him and engaged in small talk. Anytime he would ask her how she was, she'd give him the same response. It almost felt rehearsed, it was so shallow.

"John." She looked at him and made eye contact briefly. "Like I told you all the other times you've asked, I'm fine." She broke eye contact and looked away from him, watching the passersby outside their window at the booth where they sat. "I'm still a cop. Always will be," she said with resignation in her voice.

John decided not to push the issue any further. It was clear that she wasn't ready to open up to him yet. He wasn't sure how to address the elephant in the room, but he knew he had to do something. He still had questions on how she was able to get information on the Russian diamond fence. He had a feeling that whatever source she was using, wasn't the kind of source she should be dealing with. She was walking on dangerous ground. It made him feel uneasy that she'd keep anything from him. He wouldn't know how to protect her if he didn't know what to protect her from.

To make matters worse, she was putting herself in danger by going on this date with Ian tonight and they still weren't sure how much of a threat he was. Ian by all appearances was a hunter and he chose Joss to be his prey. They both needed to keep their guard up and stay vigilant tonight. He wanted ─ no he needed ─ whatever this distance or standoffish attitude he felt coming from her to be gone. He wanted to be able to sit and talk to her like they used to, but he didn't want it like this. Sitting in their favorite diner and talking over a cup of coffee, by all appearances looked the same, but it wasn't. It felt... superficial… forced, at least from her.

After a long period of silence between them, Joss spoke again. "John, you know you don't have to babysit me all day. I'm capable of taking care of myself. You stayed with me all night. Why didn't you let Shaw relieve you? Does Finch know about this?" Joss asked as she continued to look out the window, sipping on her coffee as she waited for him to answer.

He looked down at his hands as he fiddled with the paper napkin and looked up at her. She wouldn't even look at him. It was almost as if she refused to do so. It felt as if she was drifting further and further away from him. He decided to give a more diplomatic answer.

"We don't know if he is going to follow you and track you down again, Joss. I don't trust him to not make a move and I don't want to give him the opportunity."

"You didn't answer my questions," she said with a hint of irritation in her tone. She finally turned her attention to him.

He feigned ignorance of any wrong doing. "I didn't?"

She smirked at him and took another sip of coffee. A smirk. It wasn't a smile but he'd take that for now. He gave a smirk of his own and tapped his earpiece to answer an incoming call from Finch.

"Mr. Reese, Ms. Shaw and I have discovered some new information about Ian Murphy."

John automatically became tense. "What is it, Finch?"

"Perhaps it will be best to share with you and Detective Carter. We'll meet you both at the safe house to discuss the best course of action to take tonight."


	2. Chapter 2

"I need clothes," Joss finally said after another lull of silence in the car. They were headed back to the safe house from Lyrics. In a few hours, they were supposed to meet with Finch and Shaw and work out the plan for tonight's "date."

"I don't understand. Shaw brought you clothes. What else do you need?"

Joss looked down at her current attire. A pair of jeans, a simple grey tee shirt, and a pair of work boots. The outfit was as simple as it was comfortable, but she couldn't wear this on a date with Ian. "I need clothes for my date tonight."

John felt irritation prickling at his heart as he gripped the steering wheel harder and looked ahead to focus on the traffic. Keeping his voice as level as he could, he softly replied, "What's wrong with what you're wearing? You look fine, Joss."

She scoffed. "As comfy as these jeans are, they aren't exactly date attire. Just make a quick stop by my apartment so that I can find something."

"I really don't see the need for you to change."

Joss noticed his knuckles had turned white from his grip on the steering wheel, but said nothing. He'd been on edge and breathing down her neck since last night. She knew he was concerned about her going on a fake date with who they thought was a potential serial killer, so she ignored how tense he was. Fake date or not, she couldn't show up as is. She needed to play the part and in order to play the part she needed better attire.

She sighed in exasperation. "John." She turned to look at him.

He felt her looking at him but kept his eyes on the road. "What?"

"Just stop by my place. We're about five minutes away; it won't take but a few minutes."

"Fine."

* * *

Joss sorted through the dresses in her closet. A few were dresses she'd worn on the dates she had with Beecher. A few were dresses she'd bought for more dates, but never had a chance to go out on. She pulled out a beautiful red dress. A Roberto Cavalli sleeveless, wrap style dress with ruching to accentuate her curves, a small split in the back of the dress giving her room to walk, and a v-neck low enough to show the girls without showing them all. It was a beautiful bright red, perfect for the warm summer night and sexy, but not too sexy. She smiled as she held the dress against her body in front of the full length mirror. It would hug her curves perfectly but wasn't as tight as the dress from last night.

I wonder what kind of shoes I should wear? This is perfect she thought, completely unaware of John standing at the open door of her bedroom leaning on the doorframe with his arms crossed. She turned around and was startled to see him there. She took a deep breath to calm her nerves as her hand flew to her chest. "You have got to stop doing that, John."

John frowned as he took another look at the red dress in her hand. "Is that what you're wearing tonight?"

Joss smiled as she held up the dress to admire it once more. She'd been waiting for a chance to wear this dress for a while, and now she had the chance. Fake date or not. "Yeah. I think it's perfect."

John felt more on edge and his annoyance with this entire situation was reaching unhealthy levels. Why is she smiling? This date isn't real. She's not really into this guy is she? She needs to focus. "I disagree. It sends the wrong message. It's just dinner, Joss. He's not taking you anywhere special."

Joss raised an eyebrow and eyed him curiously. "So what are you saying? That I don't know how to dress for a dinner date. It's a simple dress, John."

He looked at the dress and looked at her and pictured her in it. In his mind she looked even more amazing than she did last night. And he'd be damned if Ian got to see her again looking like or better than she did last night... "It's not a simple dress. Choose something more… conservative."

"Conservative?"

"Yeah, something a little less…" He swallowed, his mouth suddenly dry as images of her in the dress and suddenly out of the dress crossed his mind. "Adventurous. We don't know what will happen tonight so you need to have on something where you'll have the ability to move freely and defend yourself if needed." He hoped he sounded reasonable even though he knew he wasn't being rational.

No response. She was staring at him. Trying to read him. He held her gaze but lost the battle as he looked away. Perhaps he didn't sound as convincing as he thought. "I'll wait in the living room."

"Yeah… I think that's a good idea."

He turned to leave not knowing that Joss watched his back as he walked away. She took another look at the dress and sighed. Maybe some other time. She put the dress back in the closet and pulled out her favorite pair of jeans, a black shell, and a lightweight blazer. Some other time.

* * *

More silence. Uncomfortable silence. He watched as Joss sat on the couch and played Candy Crush on her cellphone as they waited for Finch and Shaw to arrive. There was a knock on the door. Thank God.

John answered the door to let Shaw and Finch in, and Joss finally looked away from her cellphone giving them her full attention.

"Hello, Finch." She smiled and welcomed them as they took their seats in the living room. "Shaw, nice to see you again. No hangover?"

"Never. I told you my body runs on Diesel. I handle it like a pro," Shaw replied with a smirk.

"When this is all over, maybe we can hang out… I'm going to the range next Saturday if you wanna join me. Bring your Nano. I want to try it out."

John couldn't believe it but Shaw was actually beaming from ear to ear.

"Sure, just let me know the place and the time. I actually know this really cool place in Chelsea where we can go─"

"I'm sorry ladies, as much as I hate to interrupt the bonding here, we do have a more important matter to discuss," Finch interrupted.

John smirked at the exchange. Finch hated guns.

"While you were out this morning," Finch turned to shoot a look at John, "Ms. Shaw and I discovered that the money Murphy received nine years ago came from a shell corporation out of Switzerland funded by Bruce Wellington, not from an uncle as he claimed."

"The GPS map of Ian's SIM cards shows that he was in the Hamptons last week on the same day of Dana Wellington's funeral," Shaw added.

"The article in his house," John added, putting the pieces together. "Maybe he was going back to the scene of the crime. Or possibly extorting the Wellington family."

"Yes, Mr. Reese. We were thinking among the same lines. What we need from you, Detective Carter, is to get more information from Murphy tonight."

"It shouldn't be a problem. I've interrogated worse people. Ian seems harmless," Joss replied in a cavalier tone.

Harmless? This man is a stalker and possible killer, but he's harmless? John was livid. Apparently the irony of those thoughts was lost on him. He took slow deep breaths to reign in his anger at her careless response and moved forward with the reason for the meeting.

"Shaw, did you find a place to set up where we can get a view into Murphy's place?"

"Yep. I'll be there as Joss' backup with my rifle, and you'll be standing at the building below ready to head to the apartment if needed."

"Detective Carter, I've also brought an ear piece for you so that you are able to inconspicuously communicate with Ms. Shaw should you not be able to openly request assistance." Finch limped slowly over to Joss to give her the new ear piece and they spent the next hour going over details on how the night would go.


	3. Chapter 3

Joss took several long, deep breaths to calm her nerves as she walked down the hall to Ian's apartment. They had a plan in place and she had her sidearm with her, so she knew she'd be fine. It's just that it was now or never and she knew she needed to have the right mindset going into this. She had to play the part. If he was a serial killer like they thought, she would feel the satisfaction of catching this guy and getting him off the streets. If he wasn't a killer, well… at least she'll get wined and dined by a reasonably attractive guy. It was a win-win scenario.

 _Yeah, I'll go with that_ , she thought. She stopped in front of the door to Ian's apartment and gave herself one last mental shake to get rid of her nerves. She knocked on the door.

After a few moments, Ian opened the door and smiled warmly at her. "Hello, Joss. I'm glad you made it." He looked her up and down appreciatively. "You look even more beautiful than you did last night, if that was even possible," Ian said as Joss crossed the threshold to enter his apartment.

She smiled softly. _Maybe I didn't need that dress after all._ "Another line, Ian?"

"Nope. Not even a little. Come on in and have a seat. I have a glass of wine with your name on it while I start dinner."

He led her to the kitchen and pulled out small stool for Joss to sit. She looked around the kitchen and took in her surroundings. "Nice place."

"Thanks." He took two wine glasses from the cabinet and poured her a glass of red wine from a crystal decanter. She took a slow sip after he offered it to her.

"Mmm. This is good. What's on the menu tonight?"

"Chilean sea bass. I can promise you it will be the best you ever tried," he said with a grin as he washed his hands to continue preparing their meal.

"Is that so?"

"If it isn't the best you've ever had, I promise to take you out to dinner on our second date."

She smirked. "That's very presumptuous of you to say. What makes you think there will _be_ a second date?"

He took the garlic out of the fridge and placed it on the cutting board to slice. "You're the type of woman that a man takes someplace nice. I bet you like to get dressed to the nines and paint the town red on your off time."

She gave a small, uncomfortable laugh at how accurate he was. It was flattering, yet creepy at the same time. She wondered what his angle was.

* * *

"What are you doing up here? You're supposed to be waiting in front of the building for my cue," Shaw complained as she glared at him. "I've got things under control up here."

John ignored Shaw and made himself comfortable as he stood next to her on the rooftop of the building across from Ian's apartment. He took the scope out of his pocket so that he could get a better view of what was going on inside Ian's apartment. He'd had enough of hearing what was going on, and what he heard, he didn't like. He needed a visual. He needed to see that Joss had her head in the game and wasn't actually falling for this creep's game. _Chilean sea bass? How unoriginal_ , he thought bitterly.

He quietly watched as the "date" continued on.

* * *

"So… what else are we having?" She asked, trying to shake off her nerves. She took another sip of wine and tried to relax into the role.

He moved closer to her and added wine to his glass before answering. "Don't worry; nothing with tree nuts."

She felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end. This was the second time tonight he was able to make an accurate assessment about her that she didn't tell him about. "How did you know I was allergic?"

He looked at her and said, "I pay attention. See, if more guys did that, they'd find the opposite sex less confusing."

"Hmm, that's not an answer," she replied with a tight smile as she held the glass of wine in her hand.

He turned his body to face her completely as he looked into her eyes. "You pushed away a little bowl of almonds at the club. Your face said it was out of protection so… severe nut allergy." He looked down to clink his glass with hers before taking a sip of wine.

* * *

As he watched Joss and Ian on their date through his scope, John hated every minute of it and regretted coming up to the rooftop to get a better visual. He initially thought he'd be able to handle listening in again tonight in order to stay on the ground to go up if necessary. He was wrong. If he thought it was bad last night when all he could do was listen in on them flirting at the club, it was worse tonight. Once he heard Ian try to get a second date from Joss, he had to move his feet. He had to make sure Joss had her guard up and was playing her role. He wanted to make sure the flirting wasn't as genuine as it sounded over the open line.

It was worse than he thought it would be. She seemed relaxed. Too relaxed. She was drinking too much wine and she wasn't focused. Ian was standing so close to her. Too close. He hoped like hell that Shaw had her trigger finger ready. How in the hell did he even surmise that Joss was allergic to tree nuts? With everything he thought he knew about her and all the time they'd spent together whether it was work related or just meeting to sit and talk like they used to, he never knew about her allergy. Several emotions hit him at once and none of them were good.

Anger, jealousy, and surprise.

He was angry that Ian knew so much about her already and that he knew things about her that he didn't know from almost two years of knowing her. He was jealous that Ian got to do for Joss that he wasn't man enough to ask for. He was jealous that it wasn't him that had Joss over for dinner, cooking for her, talking while having a glass of wine, flirting while getting to know each other on a more personal level. And he was surprised. He was surprised that Joss seemed open to Ian; that she was responding to his attention.

His grip on the scope became tighter as he continued to watch and stew in silence.

* * *

She let out another uncomfortable chuckle and replied, "You'd make a good detective."

"That's funny. I was thinking the same thing about you."

"What do you mean?" She eyed him closely as he picked up the knife and started slicing the garlic on the cutting board.

"The way you were watching everyone in the club. And I know your Angler profile says you're an Officer, but… you seem more like a Detective to me."

 _Damn, this guy is really observant_. She looked down and tried, but failed at keeping the disappointment from showing on her face. "Well… I _was_ a Detective. Homicide. But I'm doing something different now. It's not where I thought I would wind up, but it's where I need to be right now," she finished as she looked up at him.

He nodded his head in understanding and moved towards Joss, carrying the knife he was using to cut the garlic. Joss' eyes stayed on the knife as she inconspicuously reached for the gun in her purse, ready to defend herself if needed. He walked past her and opened the door to the fridge. Her senses were on full alert and her body was tense as she felt him behind her. She took another sip of wine to disguise the fear she was sure was on her face, but also to calm her nerves.

Shaw's voice buzzed in her ear. _"What's he doing? Should I shoot him?"_

"Not yet."

"What?" Ian closed the door to the fridge and turned to look at her. He held up the package he grabbed from the fridge. "Shitake mushrooms." He smirked at her. "I wasn't trying to make a move…" He walked back to the cutting board. "… _yet_."

She let out another chuckle, this time of relief as he grinned at her and continued to prepare their meal.

* * *

"She doesn't have her guard up," John spat, his voice filled with tension.

Shaw was annoyed with John and his antics tonight. Of the cases they'd worked on together, he was never this tense. "You're joking. That woman has a guard of steel." She suddenly thought about all the phone calls he had with Carter in her presence. The one time when he called Carter while they were in the middle of a police chase, just to ask how she was because he was worried about her. Or the time when he called her early in the morning telling her that if she needed to talk that he was there for her. She remembered how he walked away from her to get some privacy and how he spoke so softly to Carter, acting like the two of them were the only people that existed. It finally dawned on her. "You two have a thing or something? 'Cause I clocked you and Zoe right off the bat. But I never thought you with Carter─"

He did _not_ want to have this conversation with Shaw. Not now or ever. "We're _just_ _friends_." He took his eyes off Joss briefly to glare at Shaw. Hopefully this would end the discussion.

Not believing him the slightest bit, she replied, "Well, your _just friend_ is doing her job. She gets this guy to trust her, maybe he makes a move and we can finally shoot him."

They continued to watch the date between Carter and Ian, and she noticed his jaw tighten and saw the white of his knuckles as he gripped his scope. _Just friends my ass_ , she thought and decided to drop the matter of his "just friendship" with Carter. She was sure she'd have more time to observe the two of them and make up her own mind about their relationship.

"So…how long have you and Zoe been 'special friends'?" Shaw hoped this would be a safer topic, since she knew he and Zoe were more than just friends.

John rolled his eyes, more than annoyed that once again his full attention was not on Joss. "Well, I haven't counted the days, Shaw. What about you? Any big dates lately?" he asked, not particularly caring, but asking to take the focus off him and put it back on her.

"Been too busy saving the world from bad guys. Besides relationships are for amateurs. Guys these days, they have so many…emotions. They cry; they want to be held. I just don't know what to do with them."

"So, you're a nun?" He asked, slightly amused.

"I'm a pragmatist, John. I go out, have a fun night, or three. And then, uh, I move on, you know? No muss, no fuss."

He smirked, remembering having the same mindset when he first started things with Zoe. It was easy. No muss, no fuss. He made sure that it remained that way. He wasn't ready for anything serious with her, nor did he _want_ anything more. Zoe was easy. She didn't ask for much and what they had was simple and at its most basic. Have drinks, scratch an itch. See each other again for another round.

But watching Ian wine and dine Joss made him want more than just a fun night. And he what he realized tonight is that he wanted more with her… with _Joss_. But how would he get more if she's shutting him out? Would she even want that from him? He was lost in his thoughts until Shaw had to get his attention again.

"John… John… _John!_ "

He glared at her for taking him out of his daydream. "What?" He asked in annoyance.

"Get your head back in the game, Ian is walking her downstairs. You need to get there now, and I'll cover her up here."

John didn't need to be told twice, as he turned to make his way to the stairs and took them two at a time to reach the bottom floor of the building.


	4. Chapter 4

Joss had to admit it. Even though this date was not a real one, she had a good time. She actually enjoyed dinner with Ian. He was funny, attentive, and not a bad cook. And he had been a gentleman the whole night. He was able to get her to open up and try to enjoy the evening, even though he was unaware that there was a sidearm in her purse and they had an audience. She wasn't sure if he was the killer that John, Finch, and Shaw had suspected, but looks could be deceiving. Her gut was telling her there was more to his story than what he told her, and more to what they already knew about him. He wasn't a killer, but he was withholding something from them.

_If I was gonna be alone, I figured I'd do it on my own terms._

She could relate. She could most definitely relate.

He escorted her out of his apartment and they traveled in comfortable silence in the elevator. Shaw didn't have any visibility of them at the moment, but she was sure she wasn't in any type of danger on the elevator. Other than her anxiety and Shaw's over zealousness to pull the trigger, it was like an ordinary first date and he hadn't posed a threat. Her gut told her he wasn't a killer, but she'd been wrong about people before. Her thoughts must have shown on her face because Ian noticed how tense she became.

"What's wrong? You got a phobia of elevators? Don't care for closed in spaces?" He asked with a smirk.

She gave him a genuine smile. "No. No phobias. I'm fine, Ian."

"Are you sure? You know I think I read somewhere that a good tip for dealing with an elevator phobia is to go through the alphabet and think of a girl's name that begins with each letter. Or in your case, think of a guy's name."

Joss chortled. "You can't be serious."

"I'm serious. I swear I read it somewhere online," he said genuinely as his Bostonian accent came out more prevalently.

"Right. Because everything you read online is true," she said sarcastically.

He took her sarcasm in stride and continued on. "We've got a couple more floors. Let's give it a try."

Joss stood silently and looked at him as she refused to participate. Seeing that she wasn't going to say anything, he decided to take the lead. "Fine I'll start. A is for Allison. She was the first girl I ever kissed. I remember like it was yesterday. It was in the third grade, during recess, under the slide. B is for Bethany. She was the girl that lived next door in my old neighborhood in Southie. C is for… you know, I don't think I know any woman with a name that starts with C. How about you give it a try?"

Joss could only shake her head at his effort. "I don't know any women whose name starts with C."

"Okay, how about a guy?"

The bell dinged to alert them that they had reached their floor, and she inwardly sighed with relief. "No need to now. Looks like this ride is finally over."

"Can't blame a guy for trying, Joss."

She gave him a genuine smile and held his hand briefly, giving it a gentle squeeze before letting it go. "I appreciate the effort, Ian."

* * *

John waited in the shadows as he waited for Joss to make her way out of the building. _This guy just wouldn't let up_ , he thought to himself as he placed his hand on the gun usually kept in the waistband at the small of his back. All he needed was a reason. He'd shoot _both_ kneecaps on the bastard.

He saw them leaving the building and watched as Ian escorted Joss to the sidewalk to wait with her until the cab showed up. He gave her another corny joke and Joss laughed. This time it didn't sound like the fake ones from earlier during dinner, and he couldn't help but think about what she said to Ian as they made their way outside after getting off the elevator.

_"I appreciate the effort, Ian."_

The effort? That's what she liked? Is that why she continued to let her guard down and act as if this was a real date? This guy barely knows her. Sure he was observant, but it's highly likely that he had a stalker folder on Joss and was playing to that research. Just the thought of Ian having a stalker folder of Joss set him on edge. He felt a fresh wave of anger wash over him as he pulled the gun from his waistband and held it pointing down to his side.

* * *

"You didn't have to walk me out," Joss said as they came to a stop and waited on the sidewalk.

"I didn't want you waiting for a cab all by yourself. I know you're a cop..."

"But, you're a gentleman," she finished for him. And she meant that. He really was a gentleman. Working in a field dominated by men, she wasn't exposed to a lot of gentlemanly behavior. Cal had been a gentleman at the beginning. But soon after their first set of dates, things got so hectic at work and with helping John and Finch. It had been a while since they had gone out on a date before things headed south with their relationship. Before they could patch things up. Before he... She gave herself a mental shake from those thoughts and focused on the task at hand.

"I try… I had a really nice time with you tonight Joss," he said, meaning it. He felt a connection with her and he was looking forward to seeing her again. She had shown an interest in him, but he could still feel her holding back. He dismissed it as first date jitters. _She'll be fine on the second date_ , he thought.

"Yeah, I did too. And you know what? You were right. That was the best Chilean sea bass I ever had," she said with a grin.

* * *

He kissed her. He put his fucking hands on her and he kissed her. And she kissed him back. This was _not_ a part of the plan. This is _not_ what they discussed at the safe house. The look on her face after the kiss revealed what John had suspected all along. They _had_ made a connection. This was no longer a fake date and that was a _very_ real kiss.

Before he realized it he was walking in their direction. Seeing red.

 _"Slow down, cowboy. Carter's got this. And so do I."_ He heard Shaw in his ear, speaking with him over a private line.

"What?"

_"Go get the car and calm the hell down. If anything happens you are entirely too close to the situation if it escalates. I got this."_

His jaw clenched as he turned around and went to get the car. She was right. He knew it. And dammit she knew it also. He needed to calm the hell down. What exactly was he going to do when got over there other than give Ian a swift punch to the temple to knock him out blowing Joss' cover in the process?

* * *

It was just a simple kiss. A way to end the night and not blow her cover. But why did she like it? Why was she starting to like him? She started to say something, but Shaw buzzed in her ear.

_"Two bogeys coming your way, Carter."_

She looked over Ian's shoulder to see two men coming from the shadows holding hand guns with the intent to kill. She knew that she and Ian would be okay. Shaw was on the roof with her rifle, John was not too far away armed as always, and she had her own pistol resting snugly in her purse. She only hoped that Shaw would aim for the shoulder or the knees of these two guys. Not center mass. John told her about how unpredictable Shaw could be.

"Alright guys, no need for violence. Just take what you want." Ian turned his body to the two men and stood directly in front of Joss in a protective manner as he tossed his wallet in their direction. Even though she knew that she and Shaw could handle these guys, it was endearing to see him be protective over her, knowing that she was a cop with the ability to take care of herself.

The two men walked closer and one of the men spoke. "Unfortunately for you Ian, we're not here for your wallet."

The man pulled his gun up and aimed straight for Ian. Joss managed to pull her gun out of her purse while Ian blocked her actions from view.

 _"Ready?"_ Shaw buzzed again in her ear.

"Ready, ready," she whispered. Joss gave a firm shove to move Ian out of the line of fire. She aimed her gun and took a shot at one of the muggers while almost simultaneously Shaw took a shot at the other. They shot the men in the shoulder and in the leg respectively.

"Nice aim, Shaw." Joss couldn't help the small smile that crossed her face.

"Back at cha." Shaw said with a smirk. She stayed for a few moments in case another threat arrived and then she began to dismantle and pack up the rifle.

Meanwhile, Joss knew she had to do damage control now that her cover was blown. "Ian, are you okay?"

"I'd be a hell of a lot better if you told me who you actually were Joss," he replied. His voice was filled with confusion and a mix of relief. "Who _are_ you?"

Joss sighed. "Ian..."

Before she was able to continue John pulled up with a nondescript sedan and came to an almost screeching halt. Joss didn't think he even had time to put the car in park before he stepped out of the vehicle, not bothering to close the driver's side door as he stormed over to them in long strides. He briefly glanced at the two men laid out on the ground writhing and groaning in pain from their wounds. He turned his complete focus back on Joss and walked straight to her, placing himself between her and Ian.

He reached out to touch her, wrapping his hands around her arms, his gaze on her unyielding. "Joss, are you okay?"

Joss noted the deep concern and was surprised by his behavior. It was very out of character to behave this way on a case. She gently stepped back, releasing herself from his grasp, unable to hold his gaze. "Yeah... yeah, I'm okay. We're... we're okay," she replied to give Ian a reassuring look.

He frowned at that answer and realized what she did. She was putting the focus off herself and back on Ian. _The number_. He compartmentalized his feelings at the moment and focused on the job... _finally_. "Call Fusco so he can pick up these two guys and take them in for questioning. Ian, you need to come with me. We need to get you somewhere safe."

Ian looked curiously at the tall man and wondered about the brief, yet intense exchange between him and Joss. What was their story and why was he here? "Who are you?" He asked John. "What's going on?"

"My name is John. It looks like whatever it is that you've been up to has finally caught up with you," he replied, not caring about the open disdain in his tone.

Ian was taken aback by the tall and menacing man in the suit who looked as if he wanted to kill him. "What? Whatever I've been up to?" He gave a look of confusion and decided to look to Joss for answers, not wanting to upset this John person any further.

Noticing John's sour mood and less than nice reply, Joss attempted to smooth things over. "Ian, you should come with us so we can figure out what's going on." She walked over to him and led him to the car by his arm. She opened the back passenger side door and guided him in as he took a seat, closing the door behind him. She turned to John, walked close to him, and kept her voice low. "What's with you, John?"

"I think you should wait here for Fusco. I've got this from here."

"Are you kidding me right now?" She exclaimed in a hushed tone, not wanting Ian to overhear. She closed her eyes, took in a deep breath, and slowly exhaled. "John." She opened her eyes and glared at him. "He's going to be more willing to answer questions from me."

"Of course he would," John snapped back.

Joss ignored the implication of his remark. "Shaw can wait here for Fusco. Let's go, John."

He watched as she turned around to walk back to the car. Instead of getting in the passenger seat in the front, she walked around the back of the car to the driver's side, opened the door and took a seat in the back next to Ian. He soon followed after, got back in the car, and slammed the door behind him before he drove off to the safe house.


	5. Chapter 5

It seemed like they rode around the city for nearly an hour as John drove them to the safe house. Ian assumed that he was driving them out of the way and in circles so that he wouldn't be able to locate their secret safe house after this ordeal was over. Ian didn't believe that John should be so concerned. If he made it out of this alive and in one piece, John wouldn't have to worry about seeing Ian again─ unless he decided to see Joss again after this. He shook his head and covered his mouth with his hand to hide a smile. This entire situation was a red flag telling him to stay away, yet he still wanted to see her again. He must be going nuts.

He'd made a connection with Joss tonight even though he realized this date was under false pretenses. A small spark was there and perhaps that was the reason the silently irate man in the driver's seat looked like he wanted to punch something... or someone. That someone being him.

The silence in the car was uncomfortable and the tension was thick. Ian could see John constantly checking on them in the rear view mirror. Ian wasn't sure if John realized it, but each time he looked back at Ian it was with a hard glare and when he glanced over to Joss the look would soften. Clearly there was something between these two, but Ian wasn't one hundred percent sure of that. Yet he couldn't help but remember how John behaved after Joss shot those muggers.

He looked away from the front and glanced over at Joss. During the ride over, she would sporadically look over to him and answer his questioning look with a reassuring look of her own. Whenever he opened his mouth to ask a question, she would quickly shake her head no, preferring the silence for everyone's sake. For most of the ride, however, she simply looked out the window and watched the scenery of the city roll by, avoiding any kind of eye contact with either of the men in the car.

Ian felt the car come to a stop and looked at the back of John's head as he shifted the car to park and cut the engine. They had finally arrived at their destination. John quickly got out of the car and slammed his door and just as quickly opened the door for Joss, waiting for her to get out. Ian decided to make a risky move and reached out to Joss, grabbing and holding her hand before she could step out of the car.

"Joss, where are we? Can you tell me what's going on?"

She looked down at their hands and gave him a reassuring yet gentle squeeze before releasing her hand from his grasp. "Ian, we can discuss this once we settle in. Come on, let's go."

She got out of the car and he followed her lead and did the same, to the loud sound of a slammed door closing behind her. They walked through the below ground parking garage, the echoes of their footsteps the only sound among them. After an elevator ride of more uncomfortable silence, they finally arrived at the safe house.

John stood and blocked his view as he keyed in a security code on the keypad outside the front door of the expensive apartment. After the lock was disengaged, John opened the door for them to walk in. Ian, still being the gentleman, made sure that Joss walked in first. "After you."

Joss seemed to be annoyed already and walked through the door and into the safe house without looking back at the men, missing the glare John shot at Ian. John gave a slight shove to Ian to guide him inside and closed the door behind him.

* * *

John was being absolutely insufferable. Joss was rattled by his behavior and could no longer deny or dismiss what she thought was going on. He was jealous. John was jealous of Ian. Why? Jealous of what? They weren't dating. She didn't belong to him. And he damn sure didn't belong to her if he's giving horrid pink tasers as gifts to Zoe. He and Shaw must have thought she didn't hear their conversation while she was on her date with Ian.

_We're just friends._

Just like Shaw didn't believe him, Joss wasn't sure she believed him either. They were more than friends, but less than lovers. Granted, neither of them had ever talked about going there, but lord knows it has crossed her mind a time or two. He never really showed much of a serious interest in her beyond the flirty banter of their friendship. And she didn't want to dredge back up the bitter memories from the months of silence and non-contact after the Riker's ordeal. Things were starting to feel like normal again between the two of them and she didn't want to mess that up. So yeah... just friends...

 _For now_ , she thought. After this was over, maybe they needed to sit down and have a serious heart to heart. It looks like "going there" has crossed his mind a time or two as well if she was reading his present actions correctly.

And those actions were going get someone killed. John needed to focus and stop acting like a jealous boyfriend. He thought she didn't see him shove Ian into the apartment as they walked in, but she caught the whole thing in the reflection of the mirror hanging on the wall in the foyer. They all walked into the living room area of the safe house where Finch was waiting for them.

"Have you heard anything from Fusco yet?"

"Not yet, Detective. The two muggers have just been booked and now they are sitting for questioning. I expect to hear from Detective Fusco soon." He stiffly turned his body and walked towards the dining room as the three of them followed. "I think it would be best to talk about the situation in here."

"Wait a minute, what exactly is going on here? Who are you? No one would answer any of my questions on the way over here and now you're the third person I've met tonight. This isn't exactly the kind of night I had in mind." Ian complained, growing more annoyed by the minute. He shot another glare towards John and then frowned as he turned his attention back towards Finch. His shoulders were tense and Joss could see he was even more on edge than he was in the car.

"Who I am shouldn't really be a concern, Mr. Murphy. I'm simply a concerned third party who is interested in making sure you and those around you remain safe. Please have a seat," he requested as he gestured towards the chair at the head of the table.

"Ian, would you like something to drink? Maybe coffee or tea? I know this isn't exactly an ideal situation nor was it how you'd thought tonight would end up, but I promise we're here to help you," Joss said, hoping he'd understand; hoping to diffuse the tension in at least one of the two men who were obviously having a pissing contest without openly acknowledging it.

Ian took a seat in the chair and sighed as he sat back and looked at her. He briefly glanced over to John to see a stoic look on his face. Taking yet another gamble to find out just what these two were to each other, he reached out to hold Joss' hand once more. "No, this isn't ideal, but I trust you. I'll take whatever you bring me," he replied as he looked into her eyes. Even though he was trying to get a rise out of John, he meant what he said to her.

She gave him another reassuring smile and gave his hand another brief squeeze before letting go. "Okay. I guess I'll make us coffee." She looked over to Finch and asked, "Would you like some tea?"

"No thank you, Detective Carter. I'll give Detective Fusco another call to see what he was able to find."

She smiled and nodded at Finch. He still continued to call her Detective no matter what. He'd never know it, but she'd appreciated that he never accepted the demotion and continued to address her by her formal title. She looked over to see John standing a few feet from her looking at her intensely.

"John, could you give me a hand please?" She asked. Not that she needed any help, but she knew she needed to have a small chat with him so that he would focus on the mission and hide away his new found green-eyed monster. She didn't wait for a reply as she turned and headed for the kitchen. She didn't hear his quiet footsteps but felt his presence following closely behind her.

* * *

She walked across the kitchen to get everything together to start a pot of coffee. John stood by the entryway of the kitchen watching her, but neither of them said a word. The silence wasn't awkward, but it was rather deafening. She wasn't sure what she was going to say to John, but she knew she needed to say something. With her back still turned to him, she quietly asked, "What's going on with you, John?"

He didn't say anything, so she turned around to look at him. She leaned back against the counter, crossed her arms, and raised an eyebrow as she waited for a response.

"I don't trust this guy and you shouldn't either." He walked further into the kitchen and stood at the end of the island, closing some of their physical distance.

She uncrossed her arms and stood upright, looking at him in confusion. "I don't trust him. I don't even know him. That was the point of the date─ to get intel. Where are you even getting this from?"

"Tonight in his apartment you let your guard down. Since you refused to stay behind and wait for Fusco to book those muggers, I have to question your judgement."

"Excuse me?" Was he for real? Was he actually picking a fight? She refused to take the bait and turned her back to him to start the pot of coffee.

"This man is a stalker, Joss. And a potential killer, yet you're making him coffee. What is this? Some sort of a continuation of the date? Don't you think the kissing and hand-holding was enough? He already knows the date isn't real. You don't think what you're doing now is a little over the top?"

She instantly stopped what she was doing to turn around and give him her hardest glare, and did her best to hide her surprise from the fact that he had moved directly behind her. Geez that man moved like a damn panther; she never even heard his steps. She had to tilt her head up to keep eye contact. "Don't you think your irrational jealousy is a little over the top?"

He closed the remaining gap of personal space left between them. She was leaning back against the counter again, but only because she had nowhere to go. He caged her in place with his hands on the counter along both sides of her body while he used his height to tower over her. He was trying to intimidate her but it wasn't working. In fact it gave the opposite effect intended. She was somehow aroused. He leaned in and his lips faintly brushed against her ear as he whispered, "I'm only trying to keep you safe, Joss. Don't fight me on this. Please..."

She was close to melting into a puddle right there in the kitchen and all he did was whisper in her ear. Bastard. He moved from her ear to look her in the eyes, pleading with those baby blues. He won this round, but he didn't know it yet. She kept up her best game face as to not give away her true reaction. "Fine. But could you just dial it down a bit?"

He wanted to give his signature smirk, but decided against it. He initially meant to intimidate, but he felt the charge between them the moment his lips grazed her ear. He'd won this round, but he knew this wasn't going to be the end of it. Once she looked up at him with those big brown eyes he would have agreed to anything. Maybe this round was a draw after all. He slid both hands from the counter, lightly brushing her hips before he gave them the physical distance that they both needed.

"Fine."

* * *

"I got some interesting information from muggers Dumb and Dumber," Fusco said to Finch through the line.

Finch was just happy for the distraction of the call at this point. He felt like he was watching some sort of odd love triangle as Joss explained what was going on to Ian. Ian and Joss sat down across from each other but John chose to stand, leaning on the back of the chair seemingly hovering over the detective in a possessive manner. He turned around to continue his conversation with Fusco.

"I imagine they were hired hands," Finch replied.

"Bingo. Said a guy by the name of Kip Davis hired them. I made a few calls and found out this guy Davis is the head of security for Bruce Wellington."

"Well that's certainly not a coincidence. Thank you, Detective," he said as he ended the call. He turned his attention back to the three people at the table and slowly walked over.

"I get that, but… how did you know that someone was gonna come after me?" Ian asked, looking very perplexed.

"We had inside information that someone wanted you dead... or maybe it was the other way around?" Joss asked in full interrogation mode.

Ian was genuinely surprised at the implication. "Wait… you… you think I'd hurt someone?" He asked, keeping eye contact with her, wanting to reach out to her, but deciding against it once he heard John's menacing whisper.

"We've seen your stalker stash, Ian." John was barely containing his anger.

They'd been in his apartment? Just who were these people? He knew he needed to come up with an explanation for the files they had found. He sheepishly looked to Joss and replied, "It's not stalking… it's research." He looked up at John and continued. "Women like that I can anticipate their needs. They're used to guys doing the bare minimum. I go above and beyond..." He decided to give another push and looked at John straight on. "Try it sometime."

John felt a snap on his self control and before he realized it, he was moving in Ian's direction. He stood in front of Joss in a protective measure and hovered over Ian. "You're hunting them." He barely contained himself from choking the guy and walked over to the corner of the room to reign in his anger. Joss asked him to dial it back, so he would try his hardest to do as she asked. But he still wanted to punch something.

"I want their info, they're giving it to me straight up. And yeah… I get a little over efficient in my due diligence, but…" he sighed. "They like it."

Joss felt a bit used at that statement. She knew about this guy coming into it, but he still managed to charm her. Forever the professional, she set her resentment aside and continued her questioning. "If they liked it so much, how come those relationships don't last?"

"They're not supposed to. That's kind of the point." It was an honest answer. The simple truth; but now things didn't seem so simple. Joss didn't seem like the type of woman that you had a short-term fling with. He held her gaze until the bespectacled man who never formally introduced himself spoke.

"Mr. Murphy, why would Bruce Wellington want you dead? Were you involved with his daughter?"

Ian didn't answer. He didn't want to answer. Why should he if they seemed to know everything anyway?

"Ian, tell us what's going on so we can help you," Joss commanded.

He figured there was no way out of this so he told them the truth. The entire truth about how he and Dana met and how they broke up and how he sold out for thousands of dollars instead of standing with the only woman he loved. It was like picking at an open wound. The guilt was palpable and it seemed like they all could relate to the guilt of losing and not being there for a past love. Maybe they could help find out why Wellington wanted him dead after all.


	6. Chapter 6

It had been a very long day. Ian had gone off the deep end and actually kidnapped his own son. Joss had a feeling that something very bad would happen once he insisted to go with Finch after she broke the news to him about Alex, but she couldn't deny him the chance to see his son. She had a son of her own and if someone had kept Taylor away from her for eight years, she would feel the same way.

After Ian called her with a guilty conscience, she was able to find him and Alex sitting on a bench at the park having a talk. Neither of them was harmed in the kidnapping and impromptu trip to the park, so hopefully this would be something that could be smoothed over after taking them both into custody at the precinct. She hoped that Finch could pull a few tricks from up his sleeve.

As she looked at the copy of the birth certificate in her hand, she realized that Finch _did_ have a few more tricks up his sleeve. Or maybe this was Zoe's handiwork? She was the fixer after all. Either way, it didn't really matter. She was just happy to share the good news with Ian. After the past 24 hours he needed something good to happen to him. She walked down the long corridor of the precinct and saw him walking in her direction. Finch's lawyers must have worked their magic also because he was no longer in a holding cell.

"Hey," she said with a smile.

He gave an equally warm smile to her. "I never told you how much I like the uniform," he flirted.

"Another line?"

"Not even a little."

She smirked and looked down at the paper in her hands─ the reason why they both were here. She gave him the birth certificate and watched him open it. He looked at it in wonder and to her it felt like everything became real to him in this moment. "A friend of mine knows people who know people that have dirt on doctors to the rich and famous. I'm about to submit that into evidence. So… are you ready to be a father for real?" she asked.

"More than you could possibly know," he replied in a voice filled with so much gratitude.

"I'm happy for you. And for Alex."

"Happy enough to celebrate over a drink?" he asked, with a hopeful look in his eyes.

She paused. Things could end amicably here and this would be over. They wouldn't and probably shouldn't see each other again after this. But something told her to leave the door open, just in case. Besides, she was meeting up with Shaw and Zoe tonight for another round of drinks and then had later plans with Taylor. "Maybe after the dust settles. You still have my number."

He deflated a bit at that answer, but was relieved that she didn't say no. Obviously now wasn't the best time for her so he'd wait a while. He had no doubt that he would call her, none at all. He nodded his head and gave the birth certificate copy back to her. She extended her hand to give him a handshake and he took it, but that felt so cold and impersonal. After everything she did to help him, it didn't feel right. He kept her hand and drew her in closer to give her a kiss on the cheek. She seemed surprised by it, maybe even a bit embarrassed since she was at work, but the blush across her round cheeks and the small smile and chuckle she released said that it wasn't all nerves. He stepped back and finally released her hand, smiling at her before giving her a wink and turning to walk away.

* * *

Zoe took a sip of her brandy and looked over to Shaw as they waited for Carter to arrive. Shaw was an interesting character to say the least. She was surprised that Shaw even wanted to get together one last time at the end of the case. They had been amicable and had small talk for a while, but apparently Joss was the life of the party among the three. She was the common bond between the two ladies… and the reason Zoe had John waiting outside for her.

She didn't miss the way he looked at Joss two nights ago, nor did she miss how "concerned" he was that she possibly wasn't armed. And she also didn't miss how John never answered his phone the rest of that night or the next day, either. After chatting with Shaw while they looked for Alex's birth certificate, Zoe found out that John had been with Joss for the rest of the night after they left the club, and stayed with her the entire day before her "date" with Ian.

Shaw seemed to be almost _too_ eager to spill the beans and that gave Zoe pause. She wondered what her agenda was, because Shaw didn't seem to be all that interested in John beyond working together. If anything, Zoe would say that Shaw seemed to be more attracted to… the fairer sex… and Joss had caught her eye. Or maybe she just liked stirring the pot and causing trouble. Who knows? She was about as hard to read as John was sometimes.

Speaking of John, Zoe _finally_ heard from him this morning. He called her because he needed her to set up a meeting with Wellington. She obliged but reminded him that he could have returned her calls. He ignored her comment about calling her and agreed to meet up with her tonight, but those plans changed once Shaw decided she wanted to have another "Girl's Night Out". Zoe decided that maybe it wouldn't be so bad to have another night out. She didn't have many girlfriends and Shaw most certainly told her about John spending time with Joss for a reason, so she decided to join her. She'd try to feel Joss out to see if there was anything going on between her and John.

Tonight's plans with John were canceled, but she made him promise to walk her home. He would just have to stand out there and _wait_. Just like she waited for him to return her calls over the past couple days.

"How much longer did Carter say she'd be?"

"Her shift ended a while ago, I suppose she went to change before she gets here," Shaw replied before taking another drink from the beer bottle she was nursing. She turned to look out the window and saw Joss walking up the sidewalk. "She's here," she announced.

Zoe turned around and saw Joss approach a waiting John. He'd been engrossed with his cellphone the entire time they were here and this was the first time she has noticed him look up from the phone. With the information Shaw gave her earlier today and the behavior she observed from John the other night, she decided to watch their interactions with a more assiduous eye.

* * *

" _Candy Crush_ , John? Really?" she asked in a teasing manner, a smirk planted firmly across her face. She was surprised to see him there. She hadn't had a chance to speak with him at all since last night at the safe house.

"A friend of mine recommended it. She said it should be called _Candy Crack_ because it's so addictive." He looked down and played his last move, unable to beat the level. He looked back up at her with a playful smile. "Got any extra lives to spare?"

Her eyes sparkled as she laughed. "Sorry, no can do. I need all my lives. Just purchase more. I'm sure Finch pays you enough."

"Yeah, but I prefer to get a life from you," he replied with a look in his eyes that told her there was an underlying meaning to his words.

"I'll see what I can do." She decided to change the subject because she did not need him to look at her like that, at least not right now. "Why are you waiting outside instead of joining us for drinks?"

"Shaw said it was a… GNO? And I wasn't invited."

Joss chuckled. "Girl's Night Out, John. I thought you'd know the lingo," she teased.

"Yeah…" He shook his head mockingly, and followed up with a deadpanned, "No. I also promised Zoe I'd walk her home," he said with a slight frown.

"So you're just gonna wait out here?"

He held up his cell phone. "As you can see, I've got something to keep me busy. Just don't have too much fun without me," he said in a teasing manner, his signature smirk making an appearance.

"Oh, I'm only here for one drink and I'm out. I've got a movie date tonight," Joss said with excitement in her voice.

His smirk faltered but he managed to keep his expression neutral. "With Ian?"

"No, with Taylor," she said as her eyes beamed with motherly love. "He said he wanted to take me out and show me a good time. He's such a sweet kid. My baby boy is growing up so fast. You know he still asks about you from time to time."

"Really? And what do you say?" John was surprised and curious to hear the answer.

"I keep it vague. I tell him that Mr. Badass is still off doing badass things," she replied with laughter in her voice. "Hey, you know what? You should join us. We're going to see Iron Man 3."

He was just about to accept the invitation when he felt like he was being watched. He glanced through the window of the bar to see Zoe and Shaw watching them. Shaw was watching with a smirk that could rival his own plastered on her face. It was a smirk that said _'just friends' my ass_. Zoe was also watching them with a keen interest, but more subdued. He could literally see the wheels turning in her head. _Crap_.

He turned back to face Joss and saw the look of disappointment on her face before she quickly masked it with a look of nonchalance. They both knew that there was something changing between them and she took a chance by inviting him to spend time with her and Taylor. She already knew that he would turn her down and he felt like an even bigger asshole for it.

"Can I take a rain check?"

She gave him a small smile that didn't quite meet her eyes. "Sure, John. I'll see you around." She walked around him and walked inside the bar to join Shaw and Zoe on their second Girls Night Out.

* * *

Zoe wasn't sure how to feel after watching that exchange. She was curious to know exactly what was said, but she really didn't _need_ to know exactly what was spoken between the two of them. Their body language and the way they looked at each other said enough. She took another sip of the brandy in her glass and tried to push her negative thoughts aside. Perhaps it was nothing. Shaw planted a seed in her head that tried to take root. She wouldn't put more into it than what it was: Two friends exchanging pleasantries. She took another sip of her drink and took comfort in not believing her lying eyes.

"Hello, ladies," Joss said with a big smile that she didn't quite feel as she joined them at the bar.

"Hi, Joss. Good to see you again," Zoe lied with a smile plastered on her face. She took another sip of the brandy.

"Hey Carter. You missed out on the action today," Shaw said with a grin.

"I'm a cop, Shaw. I see enough action at work, not to mention working with you guys," she said with a chuckle. She ordered a club soda from the bartender and sat back in her chair, shooting a small glance to the window to look at John who was now engrossed in another round of _Candy Crush_. "So what did I miss?"

"John punched one of my clients," Zoe blurted out, obviously irritated about the day's events.

Wellington was a very valuable client and bad news travels fast in those circles. She would have to do a lot of fixing of her own to clean up the fine mess John made. Not to mention the new problem she had sitting next to her stealing glances at John when she thought no one was looking. Zoe took a bigger sip of her brandy and tried to calm her nerves.

"He _what_?" Joss asked in confusion.

"He punched Wellington, but that guy deserved it. _I_ would've punched him if John hadn't," Shaw replied before she ordered another beer.

An hour went by without a hitch as the women engaged in small talk, a few jokes, and other topics of interest. Joss took another look out of the window and saw John diligently standing there, waiting for Zoe. She felt her temper increasing and took a deep breath as she reminded herself that he had made his choice, but John was still her friend. He didn't deserve to be standing around outside waiting like a guard dog. Damn, even Bear was inside with them.

"How long are you gonna keep him waiting?" she asked as calmly as she could.

"He promised to walk me home," Zoe answered dismissively.

Shaw noticed the tension between the two ladies sitting across from her. Zoe was _finally_ able to see what she saw all along. Was Zoe too arrogant to notice? Or was she just oblivious to it? Shaw wondered what would happen now. Whatever it was between John and Zoe was about to come to an end─ anyone with eyes could see it would be over soon. How much longer would it be before the "just friends" became more than that? The soaps her mom used to watch when she was a kid weren't half as interesting as the story playing out in front of her.

"That's very chivalrous of him," Shaw replied as she took the final swig of her beer.

Zoe sighed in exasperation. Of course these two wouldn't be on her side. It was almost like those two became BFFs after they gushed over Shaw's gun the other night. "Okay _fine_. I should probably get going." She'd had enough to drink and it wouldn't be ladylike to stumble out of a bar─ even if John was there to escort her home.

"Yeah, I need to go too. I have a date… with my son," Joss replied with a genuine smile. She'd had enough "girl talk" for one night and needed to get out of there. She'd deal with her emotional rollercoaster of feelings with John later.

"Nice work tonight, ladies," Shaw said to their retreating backs as they left the bar. She watched Joss go one way and John and Zoe go the opposite direction out of the window, but she didn't miss John briefly looking over his shoulder to watch Joss walk away. She shook her head and rolled her eyes. Men were just so stupid and emotional sometimes.

She looked down at Bear, the only male in her life she'd actually take back to her place, grabbed his leash, and made her way out of the bar to go home.


	7. Chapter 7

John noticed that Zoe was unusually quiet tonight. Her place was seven blocks away from the bar and she insisted on walking. In those heels. Clearly more inebriated than she first let on. Her pace had slowed considerably and her mood had grown darker.

"Zoe, are you sure you want to walk the rest of the way?" he asked. "We've got at least four more blocks."

"Yes, I'm sure, John," she replied distractedly.

Perhaps he was right. Maybe she needed to call her driver. The longer they walked in silence, the more her feet began to ache in her Jimmy Choos. The more her feet ached, the more she tried to ignore that pain by thinking of something else. The more she tried to distract herself from the pain of walking four more blocks, the more she thought about John staying with Joss all day, not returning any of her calls. She didn't know why she felt this way, this weird sense of jealousy, but she did. They weren't exactly exclusive... at least not at first.

After their "divorce" she hadn't really heard from him again until their run-in at the Coronet Hotel. She was working, as was he, so it wasn't exactly a social call that brought them together. When she ran into him in the elevator, she noticed that there was a change to him. He seemed darker, distant. She chalked it up to him working a new case, focusing on saving another person who was in danger like she once was. Well, that and the fact that he was stuck wearing a polyester-blend bellhop uniform. She never gave it a second thought after he invited her to the penthouse suite later that night at the bar.

After that night together in the suite, he started to contact her more often. The time they spent together was always light and easy. Flirty banter over dinner and drinks with a nightcap at her place or a fancy hotel nearby. At first it started out as once or twice a week, but as the days passed by he seemed to have more time on his hands and he called her more. She figured he had more free time from work because something had gone wrong with whatever it was that he and Harold did with trying to save the world, but he wouldn't open up about it. However, she hadn't minded. He proved to be very fun company... oh and the flirty conversation was nice too, whenever he wasn't brooding.

Funny how she never paid attention or really thought about these things until now. He talked to her about work, like how Shaw came aboard their little not so legal endeavor. He told her about how Harold was having difficulty dealing with her antics. He complained about Leon and how many times he had to save his hide. He even talked about Bear and sometimes Lionel. However, he rarely talked about Joss... or Carter as he always referred her as.

She knew from inner circles that Detective─ or was it Officer─ Carter had been dating the narcotics detective, Cal Beecher. So when she read in the paper about Beecher's murder, she naturally asked John about it and asked how Carter was holding up. That proved to be an unwise decision on her part. He gave her a dismissive answer about how he hadn't had a chance to speak with her because he didn't have time. She pushed a little more but relented after he answered with a silent, cold stare.

Yes... funny how she dismissed these things and didn't pay attention to it until now. It was as if he purposely distanced himself from her anytime she tried to get him to open up and at least talk about what was going on with him. Funny how he seemed so open with Joss, at least by his body language outside the bar, than he ever was with her. Even when they were together intimately. _He never looked at me that way_ , she thought and she suddenly stopped walking. Funny how you don't see the things that are right in front of your face until it's too late. Funny. She let out an empty chuckle and shook her head.

The dates, the flirting, the dinners, the nightcaps, the easy conversations between the two of them seemed so... shallow now. Even the stupid, garishly bright pink taser he gave her seemed to be a joke. What in the hell were they even doing? Why had she allowed a man to simply "pass the time" with her? Is that what this was? Is that what she wanted?

"Zoe... Zoe... Zoe," he called, trying to get her attention. She had stopped abruptly in the middle of the sidewalk and was lost in her thoughts. After the third time he called her name, it seemed like she finally heard him.

"You know John... I think you're right. I should call my driver. My feet are killing me," she replied in a tone more cavalier than she felt.

There was a small coffee shop across the street from where they stood and she made her way over, not waiting for─ and frankly, at this point─ not caring if John followed. He held the door open for her as she walked across the threshold and entered the shop. This type of place wasn't normally her scene, and the stares the two of them received from what appeared to be the regulars, made that point glaringly clear. She walked to a table near the window and made herself comfortable, noting to save the seat facing the door for John. She'd been out with him enough to pick up that particular quirk about him.

Zoe called her driver to give him their location. After the waitress took their orders and left, an uncomfortable silence descended upon their table. Both were lost in their thoughts and neither of them wanted to discuss the elephant in the room. The waitress brought two large coffee mugs filled with the steamy, dark brew and placed them on the table. She quickly scurried away from the tension emanating from the two patrons sitting across from each other. John was bold enough to finally break the ice.

"Something on your mind, Zoe?"

"I could ask the same of you."

He appeared to mull that statement over in his mind before replying, "I actually do have something on my mind."

He looked at the time on his watch and wondered if maybe he could catch the rest of the movie with Joss and Taylor. He didn't really care about missing half the movie. He cared more about spending time with them. He didn't want a rain check. He wanted to do something with Joss that wasn't work related or was more than just coffee in a diner or meetings in the park.

Zoe's question pulled him from his thoughts. "Would it have anything to do with why I haven't heard from you since we left Blur? Or why you didn't return any of my calls?" She took a sip of coffee and found that the stimulating jolt of caffeine was exactly what she needed after a night of drinking away her worries. She eyed him over the mug of coffee as she waited for his reply.

He looked across the table at her and couldn't help the smirk that appeared on his lips. "Didn't think you cared."

He really didn't. This Zoe, the clingy and seemingly jealous Zoe, was new to him. This Zoe was... complicated. And as much as he liked her and enjoyed her company, he wasn't looking for complicated- at least not with her. He checked the time on his watch once more.

"Of course I care, John. Why wouldn't I? You on the other hand, don't seem to care much anymore." She put the coffee mug down and looked at him straight on.

"Care about what?"

"Us... This... Whatever this is."

For some reason, John felt the strangest prickle of irritation at Zoe's choice of words. She knew _exactly_ what this was. There was no gray area between the two of them as far as he was concerned. "Dating. That's what this is."

"Ah yes... _dating_. Such an easy and dismissive status. Almost casual. Definitely not a relationship, right?"

"Zoe─"

"John, don't."

"Let's not make this more than what it is."

"You never answered my question."

"I don't have to," he replied tersely.

Silence. Neither of them pictured the conversation going this way in their heads. John continued to stare at her as if he were studying her and trying to figure her out. Zoe could no longer hold her stare and looked down into the mug of coffee. Her stomach soured at the thought of taking another sip.

"I'm sorry... for misleading you. Had I known you felt this way I would have made my intentions clear." He made no move to reach out to her or comfort her. Seems like this wasn't going to be the clean break he thought it would be.

She looked up from her coffee and saw the sincerity of his eyes, but she could feel him distancing himself even further from her. "You weren't looking for anything serious," she said more as a statement than a question.

"No."

She smirked. "At least not with me, right?"

He didn't respond because they both knew the answer. She was right. He knew she was right. She knew that he knew that she hit the nail on the head. She also knew that they didn't love each other. They liked each other and enjoyed each other's company, but it wasn't love. Not by a long shot. Yes, she was beginning to develop feelings for him but she wasn't head over heels for him. It was time to cut her losses.

She caught a flicker of headlights in her peripheral vision and turned towards the window to see her driver arrive. "Looks like that's my cue to leave."

They both pushed back from the table and stood to leave. John tossed a few large bills on the table before escorting Zoe to the car waiting outside. He opened the back passenger side door and held it open for her to climb in. She elegantly took her seat and crossed her long legs gracefully.

"Goodbye, Zoe."

"Goodbye, John."

He closed the door and watched the car drive away. He checked his watch. He still had time to catch Joss and Taylor at the movie theater. He pulled out his phone to use the tracking app to find out which theater they were in but was interrupted by an incoming call from Finch. He tapped his earpiece to answer.

"Finch, what's wrong?"

"Mr. Reese, we have a problem."

* * *

John never did get a chance to meet with Joss and Taylor at the movies that night. Guess he had to take a rain check after all. He'd been tailing her for most of the evening and found her here, near Queensboro Bridge tracking HR and the Russians. He knew that she'd been hiding something, but he couldn't understand why she would hide this from him. He and Finch had known about her side project for a while, and he was more than willing to help. He had offered his help numerous times. He would be sure to offer his help again tonight. He could only hope that she wouldn't continue to shut him out and accept his help before she got in over her head.

He carried the beers he purchased from the bodega a couple blocks away with him as he made his way towards her SUV to wait for her arrival. It wasn't exactly the rain check he wanted, but he would make it work. They had both been so busy that he hadn't really had much time to just be with her. Just the two of them. He leaned against her vehicle and made himself comfortable while he lost himself in his thoughts about her and how to move forward in their relationship… whatever it was.

* * *

Joss stood yards away from the "secret" meeting between Yogorov and his goons and Terney and Simmons. She felt a small sense of satisfaction as she took pictures of their meeting because she knew she now had more incriminating evidence to add to her case to bring them down. After their meet-up ended, she waited a few moments to leave and walked back to her car. As she made her way back, she heard a clinking sound coming from the driver's side of her SUV. She reached for her firearm and readied herself to deal with whatever threat was waiting for her on the other side.

She sighed in relief when she discovered who it was that was waiting for her. "John… one of these days, I'm just gonna shoot you," she said as she put away her gun and walked up to him, making sure to check their surroundings for anyone who might approach them.

Signature smirk in place, he replied, "I get that a lot." He reached around to the hood of the car for the beers. He grabbed a bottle and opened it for her as a peace offering before gesturing with his other hand for her to give him her camera.

She let out an exasperated sigh and rolled her eyes. "Busted, huh?" she said as she reluctantly gave him her camera.

As he went through the pictures she'd taken, he said, "Finch and I have known about your little side project for a while. From what we've seen, you've got enough to bring down half the organization." He grabbed another beer for himself, opened it, and took a swig. "You can bust them… make deals to take down the rest," he said, hoping she'd take the hint that enough was enough.

"Special Agent Donnelly tried that. But HR rebuilt itself from the ashes because we didn't cut off the head. If we had, Cal might still be alive. I'm playing by different rules now." She took a swig of beer, and continued. "No deals. And I won't make a move until I can bring down the boss. They're running some joint operation with the Russians. If I can just get eyes on that meeting, I might finally ID the head of HR."

"Need help?" he asked, hoping she would say yes for once, but knowing she'd turn him down again. He was worried about her. All he ever wanted was for her to be safe. But he wouldn't interfere. He would let her come to him.

"No… but, if I do… you'll be my first call." She meant that. There were only so many people she could trust, but right now she had to do things her way. She needed to keep John out of this. The last thing she wanted was to put him in a situation that could get him hurt or killed for trying to help her. She couldn't lose anyone else in her life.

They clinked bottles and took a drink together, both apparently satisfied with her promise. They stayed like that for a while, in comfortable silence, enjoying each other's company. Joss realized that it had been a long time since they'd just hang out together. It was nice to be in his company when they weren't working or covering each other in the middle of a gunfight.

During their silence, John weighed the pros and cons of asking her about Ian. At first he thought that Ian was old news, never to be heard from again. Sadly, that wasn't the case. He knew that they had met a few times, but only casually over coffee. They'd yet to go on another date, but unfortunately that would soon end. Earlier today he overheard─ okay more like listened in on─ a phone call between the two of them and she agreed to go out to dinner with him. He needed to see just how serious she was about him. It couldn't have been that serious if she's still bringing up Cal. Maybe she was "passing the time" with Ian. He gave himself a mental shake. Instead of pining over her, he should just ask.

"So… have you heard anything from Ian, lately?" he asked and downed the rest of the liquid in his beer bottle. He continued to look forward but could feel her eyes on him.

Joss stared at him and wondered if he was asking out of random curiosity or if he had listened in on her phone call with Ian. He wouldn't look at her so she figured the latter. She looked ahead and finished her beer, making sure to take her time before she answered. He could afford to sweat a little. After a few beats of silence, she finally decided to answer.

"Yes, actually I have."

"Hmm" was John's only reply. He felt those telltale prickles of jealousy in his heart at her short answer. She didn't explain any further nor did she dismiss it as something casual. He figured her silence and sidelong glares were because she figured he was eavesdropping on her calls. He decided to drop all pretenses.

"Are you sure you want to have dinner with him?"

"Well, it's not like I'm getting a lot of offers, John." She looked at him expectantly, waiting for him to put his neck out like she did a couple weeks ago when she invited him to join her and Taylor.

John couldn't find the words to respond and he knew he blew it. Choked by fear, he couldn't step up and ask her out and express his no longer platonic feelings for her. After a few more beats of silence she realized he wasn't going to make a move. She sighed in annoyance and reached in her jacket pocket for her car keys.

"I think I need to get going. It's getting late and I need to head home to get dinner started for Taylor." She gave him her empty bottle and got in her car. "You need a ride?" she asked after starting the car and letting down the window.

"No," he replied, finally finding his voice.

She nodded and waited another minute, giving him a chance to say what he couldn't say earlier. One beat, two beats… "Well, okay. I'll see you later, John." She began to let her window up.

"Wait, Joss…"

She took her finger off the button and looked at him out of the half up, half down window. "Yeah?"

"Have dinner with me."


	8. Chapter 8

Joss closed the door behind her, locked it, and made her way to the bedroom. She'd just left the bar where she had to shoot the owner Jerry, a retired dirty cop, while making Laskey the patsy. Her patsy. On her way home, John called to ask how the meeting went and she decided to gloss over the important details and deflect with the topic of their upcoming date.

"So... what are you gonna make me for this dinner tomorrow night?"

"Something better than Chilean sea bass," John replied in a tone dripping with sarcasm. He noticed her swift change of the subject, but let it slide. He'd find out in due time. If things between them were going to be more than friendship then there wouldn't be any secrets between them.

Joss couldn't help but to laugh at John's obvious jealousy. "I don't know John, it was pretty good. Good wine too."

She could hear him groan over the phone and knew another one of his tirades about her fake date─ and her now real date with Ian─ were about to begin.

"I would not have served that wine with a white fish like sea bass. That guy is an amateur. And why are you still going out with him? You need to call and cancel."

She took the phone away from her ear and eyed it as if he could see her. She put the phone on speaker and tossed it on the bed so that she was free to undress, shower, and wind down for the night.

"Now why would I want to do that?" she asked, knowing full well why he wanted her to cancel. It was the same reason he set up their date the night before her date with Ian.

"No need in leading him on," he replied in a short tone.

Joss rolled her eyes and tossed her clothes into the hamper. She decided to push John a bit further. He didn't really give a damn about Ian's feelings. She wanted to hear the real reason why he didn't want her to go out with him. "I'm not leading him on, John. Ian's a nice guy."

"Joss..." He knew what she was doing. He made sure to keep his voice level. "Cancel the dinner and end things amicably with the guy."

"With Ian?"

"Yes," he replied through gritted teeth.

"I was just making sure that's who you meant. You always refer to him as a pronoun of some sort."

"So will you do it?"

Joss knew that she would, but wanted a little bit of an upper hand going in to tomorrow's date. "I'll think about it, John. See you tomorrow night." She hung up the phone before he could give another reply.

* * *

Shoes were scattered all over the floor while dresses were strewn across the bed. Joss found herself pacing back and forth with a new dilemma. What in the hell was she going to wear on her date with John tonight?

She groaned and went back to her closet once again to sort through her clothes. She had to have tried on every dress she had in her closet, except for the little red number John was so adamantly against when she picked it out a few weeks ago. She couldn't help but chuckle when her own thoughts echoed the same thing he said before.

_It's just dinner. He's not taking you anywhere special._

Except that this was a real date and even though it was dinner at his place, this felt like a special occasion. She took the dress out of the closet and held it out to give it a good once over. _What the hell, I'll try this one on too_ she thought and changed into the dress.

She stared at her reflection in the full length mirror and turned her body side to side. _Guess I'll be 'adventurous' tonight. He won't know what hit 'em._ She giggled and took the dress back off so that she could shower and get pretty for her dinner with John.

* * *

Nothing was going right for John in the kitchen. Nothing. The roasted chicken with herb was over cooked and bland, and the cranberry risotto was mush. He trashed the chicken and dumped the risotto down the garbage disposal. Dishes that were normally so simple for him were now difficult to make. Crap. Now what?

He noted the time on the clock on his stove and realized that Joss would be arriving in another 15 minutes and he hadn't even gotten dressed. He grabbed his phone before he walked out of the kitchen to head over to his closet. He dialed the number to the last person he wanted to call at the moment.

"Mr. Reese, is there something wrong… I thought you were taking the night off?"

"Finch, I need a favor."

* * *

Joss took a deep breath before knocking on the door. This would be the first time she'd been over to John's place. She waited for a minute but there was no answer. She was sure she had the right address. Another minute passed before she raised her hand to knock on the door once again.

Before her knuckles hit the hard surface, she heard the door unlock and saw John open the door.

 _He cleans up nice_ , she thought. He wore a pale blue dress shirt with the top buttons undone paired with a dark navy suit. She always wondered if his get up came in other colors. It was his customary look in a different hue, but he looked damn good. Of all the times for Joss to be at a loss for words, this was the worst time. Yet all she could do was stare at him.

* * *

John nearly missed the knock as he was just finishing getting dressed for their date. He was trying to decide on a tie and ended up going without. A tie definitely would have been a sign of trying too hard. He tossed the silk ties back into the drawer in frustration and went to answer the door.

When he opened the door he was dumbstruck. He knew he should say hello and invite her in, but all he could do was stare at her. She was wearing the dress. The bright red dress he didn't want her to wear for Ian. The moment he realized it, he felt like the luckiest son of a bitch in the world. She was beautiful. Stunning. Breathtaking.

Her hair was flowed down past her shoulders in silky waves and he wanted to run his fingers through it. Her lips were a sinful shade of red and he wanted to kiss them until they were swollen. Her skin glowed with a beautiful sheen and looked so soft he wanted to touch her to see just how soft she was.

The dress hugged every single curve of her body and he longed to see that beautiful body of hers without it. His eyes ventured down to her feet to see a very high pair of nude peep toe pumps and he could see that her toes were also painted an electric shade of red.

He really wished he didn't have to take her out tonight. With her looking this lovely, he wanted them to be alone with absolutely no distractions. Too bad he was so wrapped up in thoughts of their date that he ruined dinner. However, he had a feeling that tonight would be a great night anyway.

Finch came through for him and was able to reserve a private dining room for two at Gramercy Tavern. He promised Joss a home cooked meal, but had been so distracted with thoughts of her that he forgot to set the timer for the chicken, thus leaving it in too long. He ruined the risotto twice and there wasn't time to try to attempt anything else. _Stop thinking about the stupid dinner and open your mouth and say something._ Finally, John found his voice.

"Good evening, Joss."

"Good evening, John. You clean up nice."

He smirked. "I try. You look beautiful tonight."

She blushed and replied with a quiet, "Thanks."

They continued to stand there staring at each other before Joss finally broke the silence. "So... are you gonna invite me in?"

"Yeah, sure. Sorry." John shook his head and moved aside so that Joss could enter. He closed the door behind her but stayed where he was to watch her check out his place. He was enjoying the view very much. The heels she wore made her ass look incredible. He gave himself a mental shake and tried not to ogle her.

Joss walked further into the loft and looked around. "Nice place, John. It's very... you. Even with the windows."

"Thanks."

"So what's on the menu tonight? Something smells good. Roasted chicken?" She started walking towards the kitchen.

He let out a nervous chuckle and moved quickly to cut her off her path. "Actually, we have reservations. So we should get going."

"But I thought..." She smirked as she realized what happened. "Never mind. Next time you'll worry about your own dish instead of critiquing someone else's."

He scowled. "The night's still young. Who's to say I won't get a chance to make you breakfast?" She shook her head and laughed outright. He loved the sound of it and was elated that it was because of him. "You ready to get outta here?"

She reached out and held his hand and looked up to him with a warm smile. "Yeah... let's go."

* * *

The restaurant was classic, elegant, and beautiful. White tablecloths, soft lighting, and light jazz playing in the background with the murmur of a full house packed with customers. She wondered how he was able to pull off reservations on such short notice as the hostess led them to a private dining room set up for just the two of them.

After they were seated, they both read the menu while waiting for their server to arrive.

"I've never been here before. I've read rave reviews and I can see why. Everything on the menu sounds delicious and this place is beautiful."

"So I got something right tonight," he said with a smile as he looked at her.

She looked at him and smiled back. "The night is still young. There's still enough time for you to blow it." She winked at him and laughed as she saw his face and ears begin to redden.

Before he could give his own snarky retort, the waiter came in to fill their water glasses and take their orders.

"There is so much to choose from. I really don't know what I want," Joss said to the waiter before picking up the goblet filled with iced water to take a drink.

"Everything here is pretty good. For your first course, I'd recommend the crab and lobster soup. That's one of my favorites. Also, tonight's special dish is a pan seared Chiliean sea bass with a lemon shallot butter sauce paired with a melody of roasted summer vegetables."

Joss nearly choked on her water from laughing at what the special was for the night. John rolled his eyes and smirked at her loss of composure. The poor waiter was obviously confused at why she thought what he said was funny.

"I'm sorry," she said after regaining her composure. "The soup sounds wonderful, I'll try that."

"I'll have that as well," John chimed in.

"And the sea bass?" the waiter asked.

"No," they both answered concurrently.

"Oh... Well... I'll put the order in for your first course and give you two more time to figure out what you'd like for the main course. What would you like to drink? May I suggest a Chardonnay as a nice accompaniment to your soup?"

"That's fine," John replied.

"Very well. I'll give you two a little more time." He turned and left abruptly.

John cut his eyes over to Joss while she pretended to read the menu. "I'm sure it would have been better than─"

"Let's not go there, John." She looked over the top of the menu at him and smirked.

The waiter returned soon after with a bottle of wine to fill their glasses and took their orders for dinner.

* * *

Several courses and two full bellies later, they left the restaurant feeling good. The food and wine was delicious and the conversation was light and fun. They allowed themselves to let down their walls and just be, even though it was for a few of hours. He wasn't the vigilante on the run who was presumed dead, and she wasn't the detective turned beat cop who was supposed to lock him away. They were simply John and Joss and they relished the opportunity to spend time together and enjoy each other's company.

As they waited for the valet to bring the car around, John held Joss close to him by her waist. While she enjoyed being in his arms, she wasn't so sure about the public display of affection. He bent down to whisper in her ear.

"Did you drive to my place or catch a cab?" he asked, rubbing patterns on her waist with his thumb as he held her close.

"I caught a cab." He raised an eyebrow. "What? I didn't want to lose my parking space," she responded with a grin.

He nodded and gave her a knowing look and said, "Then I'll drive you home."

When the valet pulled up to the curb, John led Joss to the car with his hand on the small of her back. Although Joss had reservations about him being so affectionate in public, she couldn't really complain. She enjoyed the fact that he wasn't able to keep his hands off her. She had to remind herself that this was a first date and she wouldn't do anything stupid.

Once they were on the road, a comfortable silence fell between them. During that silence, thoughts of what wasn't said between them flowed through both their minds. They talked about movies, sports, current events, and even shared stories of their childhood. They talked about everything but the secrets they had kept from each other.

John found a space about a block away from her brownstone. He opened the car door for her and once they were on the sidewalk, he reached out for her and held her hand. It was a sweet gesture, but this was the proverbial calm before the storm. As they approached her door, Joss turned to John and looked up at him.

"Thanks for a fun evening, John. I had a really good time with you tonight." She released his hand and reached for the keys inside her purse.

"I had a good time tonight too," he replied as he stepped closer to her, closing the small amount of space between them.

She held the keys in her hand, but made no moves to unlock and open her door. Waiting. Waiting for him to make a move. When she felt his hands around her waist drawing her closer, she didn't have to wait anymore. He bent down and placed a gentle kiss on her lips. Soft, sweet, and full of longing.

When they parted, she opened her eyes and looked up to gaze into his. He looked at her with such affection in his eyes. She wasn't quite ready for the night to be over. "Would you like to come in for coffee?"

"Taylor's not home?"

"Taylor is with…" She thought about lying and saying that her son was staying with a friend, but if they were going to be open and honest with each other, she'd have to be the one to set things in motion. "His father."

John was confused. She never mentioned Taylor's father to him. Hell, he'd thought he was dead or had simply left them. When did he get back into the picture? "His father? I thought─"

"Let's get inside so we can talk." She turned around to unlock and open the door, walking into her home as John followed her inside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To those of you who've made it this far in the story, thanks for reading. I hope you've enjoyed it so far.
> 
> Chapter 9 should be finished and posted soon, hopefully by the Sunday evening.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry. This story has been complete for awhile, but I'm finally posting the final chapter here.

Stunned silence. That's the only description that John could ascribe to the stony quiet surrounding he and Joss as they entered her home. John closed and locked the door behind him. Joss turned on the lights around her apartment and before she was able to turn away from him, he saw the look of apprehension on her face. He couldn't say he didn't feel the same. He watched Joss walk into the kitchen, the tapping of her heels on the hardwood floors disrupting the stillness in her apartment. She hadn't said anything else since she dropped the bombshell on him outside her front door. John wondered if thoughts were racing in her mind much as they were in his.

He took a seat on the couch in her living room instead of following her to the kitchen. He needed time to get his thoughts together and figure out what he was going to say. The sounds of cabinets being opened and slammed shut, water running, and the gurgle of coffee brewing in the coffee maker floated from the kitchen.

He knew she was keeping things from him. He knew they had been distant from each other for some time now. He knew the reason for that distance could be laid directly at his feet. After the bomb vest incident he pushed her away and even left her and Fusco hanging when they needed him to have their backs the way they had _always_ had his. After his vague apology to her that he could barely summon because, frankly, he didn't know where to begin to apologize for everything, he thought that things were getting back to normal. He was wrong. Several months have passed, but he was still paying for it now. She was keeping things from him just as he had kept things from her. He sat back and tried to put the pieces together on how he could have missed this.

Paul, her ex-husband, was back in their lives. The only thing John knew about Paul was that he was Joss' ex-husband and Taylor's biological father. He knew nothing else about the man because there had been no need for it. The first time Carter's number came up, it was clear that Paul hadn't been present in their lives for quite a while. Joss never mentioned him and the one time she did speak of her marriage, it was in general, nothing specific.

He took in a deep breath and ran his hand over his face because the questions in his mind wouldn't stop. When had they reconciled? When did Paul come back in the picture? Was this only about Taylor? What changed? Could this be why the signal on her phone would go out at different times during the week? He had noticed that on any given day, almost two to three times a week, she would power down her phone and 'go dark' for a few hours. He and Finch had assumed it was all a part of her secret investigation into HR, but maybe they were way off base.

Why didn't he know what was going on with her? John was more upset with himself than with Joss. He should have made amends with her sooner. He should have been there for her when she reached out to him instead of pushing her away because of his belief that the people closest to him get hurt. The secrets, the separation, and the distance─ they all had taken a toll on their relationship, whatever it was.

He could forever wallow in the 'what ifs', but it didn't really matter anymore. They were both about to have a much needed conversation and he had no idea what would come of it.

* * *

Joss paced back and forth in front of the coffee maker willing it to brew slower than it normally did. She needed more time to think. Caught up in the moment after their first kiss, she felt like she needed to open up to him, to be completely honest. The look of surprise on his face after she told him that Taylor was staying with Paul was a sign to her that maybe it wasn't the right time.

She groaned inwardly and let out a frustrated sigh. She walked to the cabinet, opened it, and pulled out two coffee mugs, slamming it shut trying to settle her nerves. Why was she nervous? This was John; whatever she was going to tell him, he probably already knew anyway… or at least partially knew. She'd been careful to cover her tracks when meeting with both Paul _and_ Elias. She went out of the way, traveling in circles making sure to lose any tail she may have had. She constantly looked over her shoulder as she walked to their meeting places, and shut down the power on her cell phone and removed its battery. She'd hoped that would be enough, but even with all her precautions, John and Finch _still_ knew about her HR investigation.

The coffee was done brewing and she poured the dark brew into the two coffee mugs. She placed the mugs on a tray along with spoons, cream, and a sugar dispenser. She didn't know how he took his coffee and realized that while she knew John─ knew his real name, his birthdate, some of his dark past, what he did for a living, and even knew _now_ where he lived, she probably didn't know him as well as she thought.

Was being more than friends with him a good idea? Tonight's date, how he held her while waiting for the valet, how easy it was to just talk to each other and be together, the kiss. It certainly felt right, but she needed a level playing field when it came to being more than just another asset or just his friend. There could be no more secrets, but she hoped she wouldn't be the only person putting her cards on the table.

She took a deep breath and slowly released it before picking up the tray to carry into the living room.

* * *

John watched Joss return to the living room with a neutral expression on her face. She placed the tray on the coffee table and took a seat on the couch next to him, placing a comfortable amount of space between them.

"I brought out cream and sugar, if you needed it. I realized… I don't even know how you like your coffee. I've noticed you sometimes take it plain, but maybe you like it with sugar, no cream." She gave a small smile and hoped that maybe small talk about coffee would ease a bit of the tension that seemed to have settled in the room.

"There are a lot of things we don't know about each other, Joss." John inwardly cringed as he saw how her smile fell before she looked away to avoid his gaze. He hadn't meant for it to come out that way, but he was on edge and didn't see their night ending quite like this. He picked up a mug, adding a splash of cream and a heavy handed pouring of sugar, stirring until the crystals dissolved, and handed it to her.

"Here, I've seen you prepare your coffee a dozen times. I think I've got it just about right." She accepted the coffee without comment and took a sip while she watched him take the other mug from the tray without adding anything to it. _So there's my answer_ , she thought, not at all amused.

They sat there for a while, sipping on coffee and looking everywhere but at each other. Knowing she needed to stop prolonging the inevitable, Joss decided to speak first.

"What do you want to know?" she inquired.

"Whatever you're willing to tell me," he answered as he focused on the framed pictures arranged on the mantle above her fireplace.

"John, look at me." She waited for him to turn his eyes to her before continuing. "Don't leave it open ended because I don't know what you already know."

His face remained stoic and his voice was as soft as ever. "It's obvious I don't know every detail of your life, Joss. You haven't exactly been an open book lately."

"Really? I find that hard to believe. Between you, Finch, and Shaw listening in on everything, I figured my entire life was already on display. Excuse me for wanting to keep something to myself so that I can tell you on my own time when _I_ was ready," she retorted.

John kept his eyes on her as he took another sip of coffee and placed the mug on the table before answering. "So I guess you're ready now," he stated plainly.

Joss also placed her cup of coffee down on the table. Instead of looking at the man beside her, she stared on the mugs on the table. One still filled with plain black coffee, the other still filled with coffee with cream and too much sugar, a smudge of red lipstick on the rim. "I thought I was, but I'm not so sure anymore," she answered quietly.

"Why?"

She chuckled before she looked at him. "This isn't exactly how I pictured our date ending tonight."

He gave a soft chuckle of his own and said, "That makes two of us." He reached out to her and tugged her by the arm so that she could sit closer to him. She sat back and leaned against him, as he wrapped his arms around her. They sat like that for a moment. She enjoyed being like this. She loved how it felt to be in his arms.

"I don't know where to start, John."

"Let's start with Taylor staying with your ex."

She sighed and started to sit up, but he held her tighter to him, not wanting to let her go. She decided that she wasn't ready for him to let her go and snuggled closer against him, kicking off her shoes to tuck her legs underneath her, wrapping her arms around him. "Paul came back in my life a couple years ago. He told me that he'd gotten the help he needed and that he'd found a job with the V.A."

"What kind of help did he need?"

"We both were in the military, but he was exposed to combat that I wasn't. He saw things, did things… he couldn't adjust when he came back home. I kept asking him to get help, but he let his pride get in the way. It only got worse."

John held her tighter. "Did he ever do anything to you?"

"No. No, he never touched me, but he was a danger to himself and eventually would have been a danger to me and Taylor. The last time I saw him, before he left for good, I came home from work and found him asleep on the kitchen floor cradling a gun. Taylor was in the room upstairs and could have seen that. He was only five years old…" Joss paused to gain her composure, the memory was still raw and she still felt the anger and fear from that day. "It was the last straw for me. Paul refused to get help for his PTSD so I threw him out. Filed for divorce a few months later. I kept Taylor away from him until he was able to get his act together. It took him a _long_ time, but when he approached me, I knew that he had changed, but I still held back. I wasn't ready for him to see Taylor yet. I still didn't trust him."

"What changed?" John asked as he rubbed her back in circles to comfort her.

"After you saved Taylor when he was kidnapped, I figured it was time. They started out as small visits, and as time passed, they spent more days together and then Taylor started staying overnight. I've been meeting with Paul to discuss Taylor staying with him for more than just weekends. Especially now with my new work schedule and─"

"And your dangerous side investigation into HR."

"Yeah..."

John hesitated a bit before following up with his next question. Something he'd been wondering about for a while. "Joss, on those days when you cut off your phone and go dark… Were you meeting Paul during those times?"

There was a pregnant pause before she replied, "Not every time." She felt John's body tense as he stopped rubbing her back in circular motions.

"So just looking into HR?"

Outside at the top of her steps after their kiss, Joss wanted to be open and tell the truth. But now… she wasn't sure if she should reveal her secret about Elias. Over the few beats of silence between them she mulled it over and thought better of it. Now wasn't the right time. "Yeah… just checking in with a source for more information."

It took her entirely too long to answer, as if she was going to say one thing and decided against it. Not believing a word she just said, John asked, "A source?" He chuckled at the irony of Joss having a secret source she seemed uneasy with telling him about. However, he needed to know what she was getting into. "Who's your source?"

"Who's _your_ source?" Joss sat up and he released her, letting her get a good look at him.

"You know I can't tell you that."

"Why, John?"

He sighed in frustration before reaching out to her, holding both her hands in his. "Joss, you know why. Stop deflecting and tell me your source. Is it the same source that gave you the name and address of the Russian diamond fence? Is it─"

Joss felt a wave of agitation wash over her. "You know what," Joss interrupted before releasing her hands from his grip. "We're not doing this John. I'm not putting myself out there and opening up to you, without you doing the same."

"I'm not going to lose you because you refuse to let it go."

"Lose me?" She let out an empty chuckle. "I don't know if you've noticed, but my job _already_ puts me at risk. Not to mention HR having a bulls eye on my back. You could lose me tomorrow."

"Joss─"

" _I_ could lose _you_ tomorrow and never know why." She stood up and began to pace the room, trying to reel in her emotions. "I'll never… I'll… never _know_ if it's because of your work, your past, or this… _source_ you refuse to tell me about."

"You have too much to lose. I'm already a dead man, but _you_ have everything to live for. Don't push me on this," he implored, standing from the couch. He reached out to her and held her by her arms to stop her back and forth movement. "I need you to trust me. I can't lose you," he insisted, pleading with his eyes.

She looked into his eyes, seeing the many emotions storming in them, but refused to relent. "Trust? _Trust_? Okay… let's talk about trust. I'm going to put all my cards on the table and I'm going to trust you to do the same. Can you to do that?"

"Joss…" he replied, feeling like she was slipping away from him, knowing this wouldn't end well.

"Can I trust you to do that, John?" she begged. He closed his eyes and released her, choosing to remain silent. He turned from her and didn't see the tears that Joss had to blink away. "John?" She watched him take off his jacket and carelessly toss it on the chair before walking over to her fireplace. He picked up one of the many framed portraits on the mantle.

"Is it really that important to you, Joss? More important than this?" He turned the picture to her. It was a picture of her and Taylor taken a few years ago when they were out of town visiting relatives.

She shook her head. He was trying to guilt trip her, but it wouldn't work. "Nice try, John. How about I make it easy for you? How about I tell you what _I_ think. If I'm wrong, I'll know. But if I'm right, I'll know." She walked over to him and took the picture from his hands, placing it back on the mantle. "I've given this a lot of thought and I'm pretty sure that the 'source' you adamantly refuse to tell me about is a computer." She observed him and he schooled his features into a passive gaze, something he had perfected, but his eyes gave him away. They always did. "I don't know why I didn't figure it out sooner, but I'm 90 percent sure that's what it is."

Ignoring her eerily correct guess, John pushed forward with his own suspicion. "Have you been meeting with Elias?"

Doing the same, Joss continued, "It's either a computer that Finch hacks into or he created it. I'm leaning more towards creating. He's smart enough to do that. There's just no way for you guys to know about something happening before it does without gathering a lot of intel. And if it's only a 'source', meaning one, then it's a source that collects a lot of information. Computers collect a lot of information, right John?"

"When you called me a few months back about HR's plan to kill Elias, did you try to save him? Alone? Is there more to HR's story than him escaping and laying low? Do you have any idea what you've gotten into?"

"So… where is this computer that holds all this information. I'm sure it's not your average Dell or HP. To collect that kind of data, there would have to be─"

"Joss, that's enough," he interjected, silencing her.

"Guess I was right," she muttered before walking back to the couch to have a seat. "Anything else you care to _share_?" she asked mockingly.

"Why did you do it?" John fumed, angry at the fact that they were talking at each other instead of to each other right now.

"Do what?" she shot back.

"Why did you save him? He tried to have you killed, kidnapped your son. He doesn't deserve your mercy or your protection. You need to stay away from him."

"I'm well aware of what he's done," Joss flatly replied. "But HR has done the same. Tried to kill me, set me up to get me demoted, threatened my son, and threatened Fusco. I know my arrangement with Elias is temporary. I know that once everything comes to a head in this, he'll rise to power once again. But in this case, the ends justify the means and I refuse to apologize for it. I know exactly what I'm doing and I'd prefer you to stay out of it."

Joss could tell that John was not satisfied with her answer. His frown deepened and he broke eye contact with her, choosing to take another look at the picture of her and Taylor. He didn't say anything for a while and Joss didn't either, appreciating the silence while they both took control of their emotions. She watched John walk from the fireplace to the window, looking out at nothing in particular.

He seemed to be gathering his thoughts as if he had to tread carefully with what he was about to say. A few more moments passed and she wasn't sure what was going through his mind. Joss stared at the coffee mugs on the table once again, knowing that the coffee had grown as cold as this conversation. She picked up the tray and started towards the kitchen when two softly spoken words stopped her in her tracks.

"You're right."

Joss turned around to see John still facing away from her, looking out of the window. She'd said so much before the silence settled over them, a brief reprieve from a rather antagonistic exchange, that she didn't know what he meant. "Excuse me?" she questioned.

He turned around to face her and she could see the emotions warring in his eyes: guilt, fear, regret. "I said you're right… about everything. You're right, Joss." Her name trailed off in a whisper,

"Everything?" she whispered. The look he gave her was all the confirmation she needed. She walked back to the couch and placed the tray back on the coffee table before she took a seat. "How?"

John walked back to the couch and took a seat next to her. "That question is probably best directed towards Finch. It's going to be interesting to see his reaction when you tell him how you figured it out on your own."

"He'd probably choke on his tea," she joked with a small chuckle.

John smirked and replied, "I think for the first time he'd be speechless."

"Mr. Vocabulary with nothing to say?" Joss playfully asked with a raised eyebrow. She leaned back into the cushions of her couch and crossed her legs, enjoying the comfortable banter she was used to.

John chortled in surprise at her use of Fusco's nickname for Finch. He followed suit and scooted closer to her before leaning back into the cushions. He wanted nothing more than to reach out and hold her, but he was hesitant. They'd both revealed quite a lot in such a short span and he knew they weren't nearly done yet. Relying on their tried and true banter, he asked, "Missing your old partner, Joss?"

Joss softly smiled and shrugged her shoulders. "I'll be his partner again. Soon..." Her soft smile quickly vanished as dark thoughts started to run through her mind.

The playfulness was there, but the undertone of her comment gave him pause. Just what was she planning for this battle with HR? What was she going to do? Would she get caught? John feared that the repercussions would be deadly this time. He reached out and held her hand in a tight grip, his anxiety getting the better of him. "You're not doing this alone, Joss. I'm not asking you, I'm _telling_ you that I'm helping you with this."

"I can do this on my own. I told you if I needed help you'd be my first call, but I need you to trust me on this. I don't want what I'm doing to get you hurt or worse." She turned away from him, not wanting him to see the tears beginning to form in her eyes once again. "I already got you hurt once before because of the choices I made, but not this time. Trust me to handle this and do this the right way."

He reached out to touch her face, gently turning her head so that she would look at him again. "I trust you." He placed a soft kiss on her forehead. "I do, but this isn't negotiable. I refuse to stand by and do nothing while you put yourself in danger. I can't do that, Joss. I lo─" He stopped himself. Now wasn't the time for that. "I'm going to be there for you, no matter what the cost."

Joss knew he wasn't going to let this go. He could be just as stubborn as she was, if not more so. She gave him a watery smile, before replying, "If anything happens to you, I swear I'll hate you forever…"

"You're stuck with me. Remember that." John wiped away the one of the tears that escaped from her eyes. He leaned in and gave her a kiss, a sweet light brushing of their lips. He pressed his forehead against hers and saw her lips upturned into a small smile.

"You know this isn't over, right?" Joss began. "There's so much more we need to talk about. Like how…"

John swallowed her words with a brief kiss. "I think that's enough for now. We can talk later," he replied before leaning in for another kiss. This kiss was different and more demanding. This kiss held promise; a promise that would move them forward from _whatever this is_ and _just friends_ into something much more.


End file.
